6 Weeks is a very long time
And so our overseas trip has finally been announced. To Pig Sea, Hong Kong and Macau. At first I was really reluctant, wasn't even aware of the trip in the first place! And then we were told that we will be taking 2 modules from the next sem during this trip, so if we pass, we're exempted!! OMG I was so freaking tempted by that. And also, since Ahloy is working during that time, its not like I would be seeing him much even during my super long vacation. So anyway, I guess it will be a very good experience for me, like learning to be independent and all, plus being apart from him will probably make me feel more liverated and matured. So I guess I'll be going! For 6 long weeks!
Gosh. This is quite mind-boggling. And the parents have OK-ed it as well. But last night, there was a sudden bought of uncertainess, before I fell asleep as usual. The darkest time of my days. I was thinking naybe its a wrong choice for me to go, what if I fell sick? What if I didn't prove capable of taking care of myself? I can't just hop on a plane and come home, its not possible. Its a very long committment to make, and last night, I just didn't have the confidence in myself.
What if something happened to me? Am i making the right choice? What if I miss him so badly? Will I be able to take it? Which brings me back to another point. Everytime I talk to him about something serious (not joking around etc.) I am not 100% sure that he's taking me seriously, or if he is even honest with me about his feelings and reactions. I can see so many things passing through his mind, but he just says 'ok'. I wonder when will I know what exactly is he thinking.
12:50 AM
Paper Cut
It all started with a paper cut, slicing my finger open with a fresh stack of paper. Just the start to a very bad day today. Super l0ng day, with me struggling with ATRM lecture in the morning, then pmkt lecture which was shitty, even shittier as usual cuz we got back our CT papers, and I didn't do well due to my amazing disability to understand what the question is asking of me. Seriously shitty. Then came the dreaded ATRM tutorial, where I spent half the time open-mouthed and clueless. Last was Peer Tutoring.
Lilin I finally understand what you mean by that shitty feeling, when everybody leaves and you still need to stay on later for a boring class. At least when I left the school today, the sun had not set completely, so still quite bright. Peer tutoring was exhausting, I was under so much stress to make sure everybody understood what I was saying, but at the same time, I was afraid that the others who already understood will think that I am insulting their intelligence!! Its a no-win situation for me. I just hope that I made an OK impression, and the most important thing is that they learnt something/revised something from me today.
Met with him after, dinner at Pizza Hut Clementi. Nice memories there, that was when he gave me my first present, a Piglet dressed in a strawberry suit, whom we named RAYE. But then my mother dumped it in the wash, and its butt became screwed. That place was where we had one of our sweet and awkward dates. Those were the days, when I was so nervous just to meet him.
6:46 AM
