♥Yengyeng

Sunday, June 28, 2009Y

Banking on Karma

I feel like such as idiot! Turning up for a non-existent lecture, and I still called my lecturer to ask if she changed the location for the class!! Why did this have to happen to me. Big BIG sigh.

Am feeling so exhausted now, what from the late night at carina's place and mapling and all. Had a tiny bit of drama with the sister (as usual) but I was too fed up and tired to care about what the fuck she was doing to get attention once again.

I am really super tempted to just bus home and skip the bloody thing, but cannot!! Cuz I called the teacher!! And we're supposed to be meeting her later about the event shit. Why can't NP just close down for a few days. H1N1 come and 'rescue' me!!

(Apparently there are already almost 50 cass in Clementi!)

Something good had better happen later, or maybe I avoided some catastrophe by coming 2 FREAKIN HOURS EARLIER THAN REQUIRED.

6:29 PM

Thursday, June 25, 2009Y

When he was away..

So he's gone on his little jaunt, and I was quite tormented over it initially. But after he actually left, I realised that its actually not that bad. So I decided to just take the time and enjoy myself, at least make sure that I'm leading a happy life during these 3 long days.

I'm glad to report that its working, and I'm not as depressed as I anticipated I would be. :D

Dear if you're reading this, don't get any funny ideas that I'm getting used to you and your trips ok, I still don't like it, but at least I can live with it now. Hope this makes you feel better, knowing that I no longer feel that you're abandoning me anymore.

Had quite a short day in school today, just trying our best to start on our ATRM project, and we discovered that there's actually nothing much that we can do. Hmmm. Spent the rest of the day just talking to my dear CK, being with them really helped time to pass faster during the day.

Nothing much to say for this post, just that today's Thursday, and he's coming back tomorrow, and late at night, so my wait is only half over at best. :/ Come back soon, there's nobody whom I can talk shit to and laugh with when you're not with me. Win more money and come back to me ok?

5:47 AM

Thursday, June 18, 2009Y

Let there be SIMS!

I am still in the process of renovating my beautiful house with the help of my sister. Totally in love with it! I had a super deprived childhood, so I'm really letting go this time. WAHAHAHAHA.

Thankfully I have this to take my mind off the things I would really not think about. He's leaving me again after 2 peaceful years. Not leaving me like LEAVING me, he's just going to Genting with some friends. It sounds so insignificant and unimportant compared to what my ATRM teacher has to go through, but I still don't feel good about it at all. Just buying me things won't change that fact, but for your sake, I'll just pretend it does k?

During the first 2 years when we were together, he went off on these types of trips alot more often, shouldn't I be used to it by now? I've been trying to think about, like what is the real reason why I am always so reluctant for him to be anywhere without me. But sad to say, i have no idea. I can't even pinpoint the exact stupid feeling I have. Which is really frustrating.

Am I sad? Lonely? Angry or jealous? I think all of the above. Why is it that he can feel happy without me, but I can understand better now, because I went on the cruise with friends, and the exhilarating feeling is really liberating. So I won't blame him or resent him for it. Lonely DUH, he's leaving me alone during my holidays damn it! But its not like he's spending time with me, he's working already, the weekday right after he ORD. Ok, I have to admit that I'm quite pissed off with him. I mean I stuck with him throughout the 2 entire years ok! When everything is over, he just went right into his next phase in life without any word of appreciation. Jason will probably say 'its your duty as his girlfriend to be with him, there shouldn't be a need for thanks'. Wait till the shoe's on the other foot damn you.

He only has 6 days of leave for the 6 months in his contract, so damn him as well for taking half of it WITH HIS FUCKING FRIENDS during his GODDAMN 2ND WEEK OF WORK, WITHOUT ME!! GAWD, I'm really getting myself pissed now.

I need to get this outta my system soon before I regret him. But you don't get it all do you? I hope you can get this through your thick skull soon. I may not stick around to wait.

1:08 AM